Keeping it together



Pic: Favim.com

I am feeling totally swamped this morning with the amount of work that I have to get through, when all I actually want to do is go to yoga, bake something and play with Lilia. That or have a mini meltdown and collapse in a sobbing heap on the floor.

This great post that I came across on Design Sponge last night about lessons learned in business and motherhood could not be more apt to my situation right now. The post is written by Meg Mateo Ilasco, creative director of Anthology Magazine and mother of two.

While I think trying to contract and do a bit of freelance writing hardly makes me an 'entrepreneur,' the article really resonated with me, and I do think some of the points made in it could be applied to any mom who is trying to keep it together.

Here are some of the highlights, but do read the whole post here if you would like to read Meg's thoughts in full, with more of an application to business. (Comments in italics are mine).

• Comparisons will just lead to feelings of inadequacy. Choose your projects and commitments carefully. If it’s not something you want to do or have time to do, then simply don’t do it. And don’t beat yourself up with comparisons. (I am starting to try and do this actively in every area of my life now and not just when it comes to kids.) 

• The feeling that children should come first all the time will lead to only one thing: guilt, lots of it. You don’t need to interact with your child around the clock (it will teach them some independence); sometimes it’s just plain impossible to attend everything your child is involved in (especially if you’ve scheduled them in a ton of activities), and you shouldn’t feel bad that you didn’t cook and clean all day.

• Think less about the word “balance” and think more about “making it work.” The problem with the word balance, for me, is that it implies homeostasis — a condition of absolute equilibrium where everything is working perfectly the way it should. Balance suggests that everything important in your life should be satisfied in an equal way. So instead of thinking of balance, I think about “making it work.” It places importance on flexibility and adaptability, instead of satisfying all parties. (I love this. I think 'making it work' is going to become my new mantra from now on).

• Don’t forget your friends You need time away from the kids and business; you need time for yourself. The trick to this: schedule it regularly. (I'm sorry to sound cynical, but hahahahaha. I wish I could get this right, I really really do).

• Enjoy the process and learn to adapt. Becoming a great designer, blogger, entrepreneur, or mother rarely happens overnight! Don’t be in such a hurry to get to the other side, or you’ll miss the point completely. And it’s not producing a kid that can speak three different languages by age four that makes you a mother; it’s the process of understanding your child’s needs and connecting with your child that makes you a mother.
  (Another great mantra, no matter where you are in your life: 'Don't be in such a hurry to get to the other side').