Family life review 2015

The idea to write an annual family life review is one I got from reading Aussie blog Planning with kids. I've been mulling over the idea of writing a 'day in the life with twins' post for ages now, as I suppose it's a topic that people find quite fascinating, if the number of questions about it I get are anything to go by. But I think this format is better - more focused on a number of aspects of life.

I plan to update this post once a year and have a record of how things have changed over time. Essentially, I'm attempting to answer that perpetual question moms ask themselves over and over: ‘Does it get easier??' And even though I’m only four and a half years in, I now understand when more experienced parents tell you: Yes, it gets easier, physically, but it also gets more complicated.

I've used some of the headings from the above mentioned blog, some I've modified and some are my own.

Ages of children

4 and a half year old daughter (pre-school)

2 years and 4 month old twin daughter (pre-school)

2 years and 4 month old twin son (pre-school)

• Running errands, school run

I really do try to run most, if not all errands while the kids are at school in the mornings and try and leave the weekends and afternoon as admin-free as possible. However, it does honestly feel like I spend my life running errands for everyone, nearly every morning of the week. I'm able to do one or two chores with my eldest in the afternoons while the twins have their nap, but I suppose this won't last for much longer. It really is quite tricky navigating a parking lot/grocery store with three. 

School only starts at 8am, thankfully. The school run has become easier of late, as the twins started at the same preschool as their big sister last week. This probably gives me an extra 45 minutes a day to do one drop off/pick up and they're very happy and settled already, which is fantastic.

• Getting out the house

Not so bad on a weekday. School mornings mean everyone knows the routine and is in the right place at the right time. Winter is just such a pain though with millions of layers and dark cold mornings. My eldest is able to mostly dress herself, but needs help with tracksuit tops, shoes etc. The weekends are a bit trickier and we are a family of faffers, of which I am chief dawdler.

On another level of getting out of the house, this is the first year that we've been able to travel a bit more and not be stuck at home with babies and all the paraphernalia that they come with. We have gone away for a few long weekends and have a week at the beach planned for August.  

• Extra curricular activities

I've consciously kept afternoon activities to a minimum as I think it's really important for the kiddies to just play at home and be in their own environment. My eldest does ballet one afternoon a week, and all three will start swimming in the summer. 

• Sleep deprivation

We're getting there slowly on this one. Grace Mae would wake up every night at 2 or 3am to be cuddled, but this seems to be dwindling and we've had a few mornings when we're the only two people in the bed at 6am! Of course all bets are off when the kids are sick. And we are planning the move out of cots soon, once the twins are 2 and a half.

Sleep deprivation these days is mostly my own fault as I have a terrible habit of only going to sleep at 11pm as it's the only time I get to do what I want during the day. Another thing to work on. 

• Lifting, carrying, chasing

Now that the twins are two and a bit and are happy walking independently this is getting much easier. I still help them up and down the stairs, which is slow and a bit tedious, but we've come pretty far in the past year since moving into our new house when I had to carry both at once.

Another looming milestone is potty training, but we are waiting for the warmer weather.

• Peace in the home - sibling rivalry and fighting

We are really lucky to have kids that play and get along quite nicely with each other. I’m not sure if it’s because of their age, but the twins are still quite happy to go along with what their big sister wants to do. But don’t get me wrong, they have their moments. Afternoons when we’re all at home together can be peaceful, but there are those days where one or two constantly push my buttons to see what they can get away with.

• Individual time with the kids

I don’t feel I’m totally winning on this one and is something I hope to continue to work on over time. When I was pregnant with twins I was terrified that there wouldn’t be enough of me to go around for everyone, and some days I do feel very thinly stretched. But kids don’t need a solid hour of one-on-one attention, and I try to grab small moments here and there – when doing the girls’ hair before school in the morning, with the eldest while the twins are napping, playing together for 5-10 minutes. A little can really go a long way in this category.

As the kids get older I do plan to introduce one-on-one dates or outings with each of them, and them with their Dad.

• Family time together

This we are getting right. On the weekends. During the week it’s pretty much just me with the kids and my husband will be home for bath/bedtime maybe on a Friday. But on the weekend we do most things together and it’s great.

• Time on my own

However, the flip side of the above category means I don’t get a lot of time to pursue what I want to. Maybe my expectations are a little unrealistic with such small kiddies, but I hope to improve on this area. I like to do things myself, but not handing over means not getting a break. With work, errands and just keeping things running means squeezing in exercise and my own interests is something that doesn't happen too often but needs to become more of a priority for my own sanity.

• Time with my husband

We do ok on this I think. I’m lucky enough to have extended family living in the same city and they do help out and allow us to go off together about once a month. We’ve gone on trips together, which I do look forward to for months (Cape Town in November, yes please!!) and keep me going through the tough times. We’ve started meeting up with friends for dinner without kids occasionally, which is great for friendships too.

• Household workload - cooking, cleaning, groceries and running the house

Um, this is ok I suppose. I do have a lady to help me out, but the consistency is lacking, which I find very exasperating. I suppose I’m finding this area very frustrating at the moment.

• Overall

Sometimes I have to remind myself I have two 2-year olds (something I don’t try and think about too often as it might just overwhelm me).

I am definitely a type A personality (or A+, some might say), which is not a great combination with little kids, no matter how many you have. I like things done a certain way, but I’m able to let things go a lot more over the weekends.

Every twin mom I know told me when Michael and Grace turned 2 that this would be my toughest year with them yet. Honestly I’m not finding that to be the case – I found newborns and crazy busy irrational 18 month of twins to be more challenging. The ability to express themselves better and slightly more discipline (read slightly) means I think we’re on an upward trend.